Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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