it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
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he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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