why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize