if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am mentally ready for anal.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
