Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my poor anus
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
