well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
