I feel like abortions should bother me more
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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