a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
