I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
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We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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