im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
