omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
