hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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