We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
