i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
