You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
