is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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