Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
