you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
