we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
