Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
