The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize