I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
