I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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