He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
