Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
