I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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