i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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