16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Your penis caused this!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
