We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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