I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
