That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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