I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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