what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Drake has all the answers
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
