At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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