anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
