I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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