Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
