Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
