you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
