someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
my poor anus
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
