if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize