so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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