I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
