She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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