Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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