just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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