weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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