tell your sister to shave her snatch
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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