I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What a dumb baby whore.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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