At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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