i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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