Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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