She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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