Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
