what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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